Response from Lesléa
I got an initial response from my mentor, Lesléa, about the material I sent her for my first packet. I got a lot of positive feedback on Shadowed and my short critical essays. However Entangled, unsurprisingly, needs a lot of work. I agree with most of the comments she made. And suspected some of the issues she mentioned.
Entangled needs a work and right now, with the initial comments thrumming in my head, I’m not sure how to make some of the changes, specifically, how do I get Maline into his role without readers going, “A real mother would question that”? I’ve had a few people who have already made suggestions on how I could possibly make it work. I really like a few of them, but I need to see what kind of changes that would mean for the draft I have and how to make them all work, or use those ideas as inspiration.
Does anyone have ideas? Anyone else willing to look at the fifteen pages I’m working on? Or someone who is willing to just play sound board for me while I figure it out?
Lesléa’s email was encouraging but she did not hold back on what she thought needed improvement. So far, I only have an email from Lesléa. From what I understand she’ll be sending my submissions through the mail with her notes in the margins. So I may get more detailed notes on the material when the packet arrives. It seems to take mail a week to reach me from the East Coast, so I probably won’t get it until late this week, early next week. But I will let everyone know when I get it.
I also will be reading Inkheart by Cornelia Funke instead of How It Ends by Laura Wiess. If you recall, How It Ends was on my original reading list at the very beginning of the semester. So far, no other books have been switched out.
For my next packet I plan on reading:
- Inkheart by Cornelia Funke
- Briar Rose by Jane Yolen
- Girl Meets Boy This is due around the time my packet is but isn’t necessarily part of packet 2.
- Make A Scene: Crafting A Powerful Story One Scene At A Time by Jordan E. Rosenfeld This one is more to help me make the changes I needed to make and not a necessity for the school semester.
I’ll keep all of you up-to-date.
Thanks for the help and support.
Edited: Got the Hard copy packet today.